Two celebrations in two weeks! How exciting!
Three years ago today, I was preparing for my wedding to Hubby. At that point, I had dabbled with the thought of going all natural. In 2002. during the ‘I’m taking a break from men’ phase (my dating life pre-Hubby was a romantic comedy — watch for my self-published novel in 2011!) and I decided to chop off all of my hair.
Well… if truth be told… I had dyed my hair bright red at the end of the summer. By November, a huge chunk had dropped out leaving me with chin length hair with a chunk of hair that was about an inch long.
Sigh. I really wasn’t that traumatized. I really did want to cut my hair — that was just the kick in the pants that I needed.
At that point, after I cut my hair, I didn’t know what the heck I was doing. So, I texturized it. A mistake because I could have been eight years natural, but I didn’t know anything about caring for my natural hair. Anyhow, through texturizing, I grew my hair to just brushing shoulder length — that was September 20, 2007, the day before my wedding. That morning, I got my hair relaxed. Not texturized. RELAXED. No wave, curl, kink was left. It was shiny and straight and it burned like hell!
That, my readers, was my last relaxer.
My wedding was awesome and the honeymoon in Hawaii and California was great. The flakiness and rash in my scalp and forehead were not.
When we got back, it was the second week of October and it was time for me to get back into braids for the fall/winter season. So my hair stayed covered up for months. In June 2008, I was in Connecticut visiting my family and my cousin and I were chatting. I blurted out, “I don’t think I’m going to relax again!”
Huh? Who said that?
I was never morally against relaxers — I just didn’t like what it was doing to my scalp. Really, if the burning and itching continued, I was sure that I was going to lose my hair. I had gone through plenty of hairdresser ups and downs (and the stylist that I had then and currently have is great!) but there is only so much your scalp can take before alopecia kicks your butt. If I can get my hair relatively straight by blow drying it, why bother? I started looking for information online and learning terms like EVOO and co-wash. I found HoneyFig and started my road to product junkie-ism buying products like Miss Jessie’s Curly Buttercreme and Blended Beauty’s Happy Nappy Styles. But styling with relaxed ends was impossible with my kinky hair, so around September 20, 2008, I cut off all my relaxed ends.
One word: freedom!
A year later in September (September’s a big month for me, it seems) 2009, I started The Accidental Natural. And now I’m two years along my natural journey — any I’m happy natural. While I can appreciate lovely relaxed hair, I have never regretted putting the relaxer down and rocking my hair naturally in these two years. I’ve seen my hair flourish and grow past what it was the day of my last relaxer.
I’ve learned a lot — good stuff (yay for ACV rinses and products that worked like castor oil and olive oil), not spending a mint on products (I swear, I must have paid HoneyFig’s rent for few months because of all of my purchases), techniques I love (two-strand twists), techniques I still have to master (flat twist outs) and more.
It’s been a great journey and I’ve learned a lot about myself. So happy nappyversary to me! And, happy anniversary to us, Hubby! Love you 🙂