It’s been a while since I’ve graced you with a Side-eye of the week. Today seemed like a good day to highlight something that has been annoying me for years. And it’s been brought to my attention a couple of times this weekend. Read on and comment!
I am a dark-skinned Black woman, no ifs, ands or buts.
I love my skin. I don’t have a problem with it. It’s rich, chocolatey and smooth. I never worry about looking pale and sickly — I have a year-round, natural tan.
When I saw this article at Coco & Creme, a spinoff of one of my favourite sites, Clutch Magazine, I thought to myself, ‘isn’t this odd?’
Well, I had a couple of discussions about race and colourism this weekend. Now, being a dark-skinned person, I’ve had to accept that some people are going to think I’m unattractive because my skin is dark. This is just life. Some people are going to feel sorry for me that the good Lord didn’t bless me with light skin (instead of being happy that the Lord made me healthy and smart). Some people are going to think that just because they are lighter than me that they are more attractive than I am. Some people who have the same complexion as me will hate themselves and hate me and wish they were lighter. Others will pray that their children aren’t cursed with dreaded Black skin.
To all of this talk, I am disgusted — truly, I am.
I would hope that in 2010 Black people would have moved forward and be concentrating on more important things in life and not focusing on the colour of their skin. I would think that in the 21st century, people would not be disfiguring themselves by slathering all types of chemicals on themselves to lighten their skin.
I really shouldn’t be surprised because of the comments that I heard this weekend. I weep for my community and for my generation. It was one thing 50 years ago to feel that life would be more difficult without the benefit of lighter skin, but if you are still holding on to that ignorant way of thinking — you don’t want Black babies, you don’t want your children to be too dark or have hair that is too kinky, you won’t date a man or a woman who is darker than a paper bag — then, really, just don’t speak to me anymore, because every time you make a comment like that, you are saying it about me. My babies will be too dark and have hair that’s too kinky. I’m darker than a paper bag.
Obviously, I’ve been cursed. Although, my life is wonderful. I have a great family, a great husband, friends who love me for me and not despite my skin.
And, yes, I’m sure you didn’t really mean it like that when it fell out of your mouth. I know, it was never directed at me personally. But, you know what? My skin is dark and I love myself just the way I am. If you have issues with colour, don’t share it with me or mine. Really, just keep your self-hate to yourself.